..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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