used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
