So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
