Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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