You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
