I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
