so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
