I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
