i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
