Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
