my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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