i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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