I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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