Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize