This is not my ceiling
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
