If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The power of my boobs compel you
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
