Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
