Quick, to the slutcave!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
