My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Enjoy the penises
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
