How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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