I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
