I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
