is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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