on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
