Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got inside last night via doggy door
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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