Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
