Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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