i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize