What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
