How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
