The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
MIDGETS
????
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
