Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
