More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
