It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
