Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
