you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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