My first STD was from a foam party
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
