i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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