paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
