So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
