at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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