You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
wow bdsm is so cute
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
