i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
