So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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