today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
