My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
