Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
