how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
