omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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