he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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