I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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