She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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