If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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