ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
