i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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