I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize