I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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