I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
