I wish I could teleport
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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