The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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