youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i need some magic done to my vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
