I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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