This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
