i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Quick, to the slutcave!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
